“Honestly, if you just look at these people who are doing this to themselves, they’re just not mentally well. Why would someone ever fart in the shower? That’s objectively the worst place to fart!” quoted esteemed flatulence researcher and Editor-in-Chief at Farts Weekly, Dr. Hannah Frankenwitz, D.D.S.
Serve severed-finger hors d’oeuvres so realistic that your horrified guests scream and ask if they’re real. Then you say, “No, of course not,” and claim they’re disgusting for even thinking such a thing because of course they’re not real, you’re just serving your guests realistic *imitations* of severed fingers, which is totally *not* gross. 🎃
North Carolina AMC Theatres are scheduled to reopen starting on October 9th, much to the delight of their notorious former bathroom-defiling vandals. “We’re back in business—ankle-deep,” one of the degenerates divulged. “I can’t wait to get in there and make the AMC bathroom look like a qualified disaster zone again.” “I’ve got all kinds ofContinue reading “AMC Theatres Reopen Oct. 9 to Bathroom Wall Poopers’ Delight”
They don’t call me one flu over the cuckoo’s nest for nothing! Now they call me 25 flu over the cuckoo’s nest for various deals and savings. Target and Publix may offer $5 and $10 gift cards when you get a flu shot, but that’s just the tip of the syringceberg…
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